Time Keeps on Slipping.....

I have no clue where the past month has gone!  I know that it rained over the entire spring break.  I know that I am hopelessly behind in school.  I know that my mare foaled a little early, which was nice.  And I know that eventually something has to give....


I tried to start a blog several years ago.  When the blogger craze first started.  I read so many and thought to myself, she's not even funny!  Surely, I could do it.  And do it better!  HAHA 


Blogging takes dedication.  And time.  I think I'm going to have to put myself on a Facebook hiatus if I'm ever going to do all the things I need to do!  I even have a ton of wonderful post ideas....started as drafts that I never took the time to sit and finish!  Here I am at work, sneaking in a blog, and a test, and a scholarship application.  Even a phone call to a local family I am working on an article about....


Yet, here it is soccer season.  AGAIN!  Which means traveling, competitive soccer for my daughter.  As if I didn't have enough things to do already.  ugh.   I believe we are signing up two of our other children for baseball.  Clearly, I'm a sadist.  Did I mention I sell Scentsy? 


The worst part is that I have all the right things I need to be organized...A 4 month dry erase wall calendar, 2 very nice Pier 1 book shelves, baskets...(ok maybe I don't have everything).  Except I have a job so I have no free time, and somehow this semester I just never did get organized.  I go rushing in and out and never seem to have enough time for things.  That has to change.  I'm not sure how I'm going to do it....but I'll invite you on my journey.  Which starts at 5 pm tonight when I get home! 

Tattoo It On Your Soul

Tattoos are so common these days.  It seems that everyone has one, from the soccer mom, to the cheerleader, the body builder, even businessmen.  I've seen them on grandmas, teachers, policemen, even youth pastors.  During the summer I am stunned by how young the kids look, and yet they have tattoos that must have cost hundreds of dollars!  I often wonder how old they are, and how much their artwork costs...and sometimes whether or not they gave any thought to how it will look later.  (read: after children) 


I have tattoos.  I have several.  My first was a very small rose on my ankle.  I figured it would never stretch, and I could explain it to my children.  It is almost 20 years old.  When I was about to turn 30, I got my second tattoo.  I looked at it for a long time.  For several months, I would go back to the tattoo parlor with a friend and I was always drawn to one flower in particular.  It was my 'just because I'm turning 30, doesn't mean I have to settle down' tattoo.  Several years after that I had a very messy divorce and got a butterfly....it symbolizes my freedom from oppression and abuse.  After being remarried for several years, my husband and I had each other's names tattooed under our wedding rings.  It's cute, hidden, and permanent.  


My oldest daughter recently turned 18.  She came home within 3 days of her birthday with a tattoo.  Actually, her dad and I paid for it.  She was given the option of a tv or a tattoo.  She chose the tattoo.  I tried to talk her out of it.  I told her she couldn't watch the tattoo when she goes off to college this fall....still she insisted.  So it was a gift from us.  I'm not quite sure that it was the best move I've ever made, but it sure does make ME the cool mom!


Being in the tattoo studio - they're not called parlors, anymore - made my husband and I decide that it was time for us to get one, too.  My husband has been kicking around the idea of getting a Navy tattoo, so he worked with the artist, and came up with a design.  It is his birthday present this year.   His appointment is in a few weeks, and the waiting is killing him.  


I searched for a design that I liked enough to wear permanently.  I wanted something meaningful, colorful, deep, intense, spiritual....and small.  I didn't want stars or hearts or flowers, not chinese symbols I don't know actually represent the things I think.  I wanted a nod to something bigger than me...and I found it.  


Somewhere in my childhood, I heard that I had Cherokee ancestry.  My mother swears I'm delusional, and she may be right; but I believe I heard it somewhere.  So that is where my search started and ended.


I found this symbol for hummingbirds.  It's simple and beautiful, but the meaning is what drew me to it and sealed the deal.  

The Hummingbird. Paired or sometimes water birds or quail, symbolized in mated pairs as symbols of devotion, life cycles, permanence and eternity.  Often modified in many simple forms.  Hummingbirds are known to be very ferocious fighters and defenders of their territory. Many times stronger than their small size would suggest.

THIS.  This is what I wanted to say.  My devotion to my husband, a mated pair, permanence, eternity, soul mates.  Fierce fighter and defender.  Deceptively small, and stronger than you think.  THIS is what I had to send out to the world.  This is the brand I had to ink into my skin.  THIS.  


I cried when the artist laid the outline on my arm.  I freaked him out a little, I think.  I wasn't expecting to cry, but this tattoo is deeply meaningful for me.  It represents my courage.  My ferocious need to NOT let you defeat me anymore.  A forever reminder to myself that I am not weak.  And a symbol to the world of all the same things.  

This is what I ended up with.  A slightly modified version.  But one that symbolizes myself, my husband, our union and eternity.  My strength, and a representation of us as ferocious fighters who will defend our territory....regardless of our size.  It is as much a literal symbol as a figurative one.  I love it.  I will wear it proudly, I will show it off, but I will still hide it from my mom behind my Wildcat watch.  You know the story, but to others who think I just have a silly design...it's my secret reminder to myself to be strong and

beautiful.  And FIERCE. 

You can read more about Native American symbolism here.  And for a great tattoo in Manhattan, Kansas visit Syndicate Tattoo.  You can like them on Facebook here.

Three Weeks Is A Damn Long Time...

Especially to be sick in bed.  I woke up on February 8th, and was a little sick.  I felt queasy and just a bit unsteady.  I went to class.  I went to work.  I had a location shoot that night and worked till 10:30 pm.  


But Thursday was a different story.  Thursday, I opened my eyes and would have sworn I was drunk.  Pass out, praying for death, drunk.  I couldn't stand on my own two feet.  The whole world was spinning out of control.  I barely made it from the bed to the toilet, and I prayed there.  Hugging the ice cold porcelain. Realizing that we needed more Lysol, and begging my husband for water.  


Hubs was snarky, and late for class.  He kept telling me it was stupid to throw up and simultaneously beg for water.  I begged louder, and he gave in.  I don't remember making it back to bed, but I do remember telling him that he had to take me to the hospital, because I was 'NOT OK'. 


He took me to Lafene, the student health clinic for KState students.  A short trip down the hallway in a wheelchair had me begging for a trashcan.  Which the nurse promptly sat in my lap.  They helped me onto the exam table and one showed up with an ice cold washcloth for my head while the other gave me a  Zofran lozenge.  It was fruity and good.  


Dr. Moeller came in, and after a short exam said that I had an inner ear infection.  Labrynthitis, he said.  It should go away on it's own, and I would have extreme vertigo and nausea for several days.  He wrote a note that excused us both because I wasn't safe to be on my own for those first few days.  He gave me a medication called Anti Vert for the vertigo.  I slept.  A lot.  That's what the Anti Vert does.  (it does a few other things, but that's a whole different post)  


I tried to get to work on Friday afternoon for a studio shoot.  I got up, got in the shower, and ended up sitting on the floor, crying for my husband to help me get back in to bed.  I never made it to my shoot.  I missed it completely, and was too sick to even send an email to apologize.  


But by Monday, I wasn't any better.  Sitting perfectly still I was fine, but any type of movement was horrific.  I couldn't walk, I could only do a geriatric type shuffle.  A second visit TOLAFENE resulted in another week of bed rest.  No work, more missed classes, more doctor bills for an uninsured college student, and new medications.  This time I was given a Scopolamine patch to wear behind my ear.  It helped with the vertigo tremendously!  I felt almost human again!  Well enough to start catching up on my homework.  That's when I realized I couldn't see.  Couldn't read my laptop screen, or the cell phone in my hand.  The words of the short story I was to read were a gray blob in my lap.  


I told my husband.  


'I can't see.' I said to him.  I'm sure it wasn't my calm voice. 


'What?'  He responded. 


'I can't see this!  I CAN'T READ!  I CAN'T SEE!  Oh My God!  What's wrong?!'  Again, I was crying.  See?  Just like that, I went from concerned to having a meltdown.  


Apparently, one of the side effects of Scopolamine is pupil dilation.  I could see fine far away, but nothing close was clear at all. 


The following Monday, I tried to get in to see the doctor again.  I couldn't manage to see her until later in the week.  I started to make arrangements to return to class, even though I was having difficulty reading, and the longer I was up and moving, the harder I had to choke back the urge to throw up.  I finally got in to the doctor in the later part of the week, she referred me to a local ENT.   


He talked to me for a few minutes.  Checked my ears, nose, and throat.   Manipulated my head to see if he could get my pupils to respond.  He changed my diagnosis to Vestibular Neuritis, and said the primary difference is that Labrynthitis presents with hearing loss.  He prescribed more new meds:  antibiotics, steroids, and valium instead of the Scopolamine.   A follow up appointment in one week.  More doctor bills. 


I've been back to class and work for a week now.  I am MUCH better.  I have been for my followup exam, and the ENT is pleased with my progress.  He says that I will have some lingering effects for several weeks, but that all of the symptoms should eventually fade. Which is great news, cause three weeks is a damn long time!!  

When Monsters are Real

On the Today Show this morning they spoke to Somer Thompson's mom, Diena Thompson. 


Somer Thompson is the girl who made monsters real.  


She lived in Orange Park, Florida; a 'suburb' if you will, of Jacksonville.  We didn't know her personally, but regularly drove through her neighborhood.  It was the closest we had ever been to something like this.  As frightening as every single Amber Alert and kidnapping is, this one was personal.  It was a girl from our part of the world.  


I had almost forgotten that she had a twin brother.  They were the same age as my twins, and all the news coverage brought her and the search for her into our home.  It made my twins sit up and take notice.  They asked questions.  They were scared....and so was I.  I was heartsick.  Imagining being in her mother's shoes. 


I wanted to go to the candlelit vigil but was almost afraid that it would be too voyueristic.  Too nosy of me    to be part of something so personal.  We watched her family cry for her return on the news.  And our city suffered.  All of us, in our homes and collectively.  We were subdued and nearly broken.  We were holding onto our children like lifelines.  All independence for them was lost.  Because someone stole one of our children right under our noses.  


Their wondering was short lived.  Her body was found within 2 days in a landfill.  A landfill.  With trash. After using and abusing this child, the monster threw her out like trash.  I'm sure that I would not have had Diena Thompson's strength to carry on.  I remember very vividly when my twins were toddlers, fearing that one would not live to adult hood.  And this woman is living my nightmare. 


Today, they were discussing the fact that Somer's rapist and murderer plead guilty and was sentenced.  The family faced Jarred Harrell in court and confronted him with the hurt and sorrow that he inflicted.  He never even apologized, or had the balls to look them in face as they spoke.  Somer's twin brother, just 9 years old, spoke to the monster.  At an age where a child should still be innocent of the world.  


I left the Jacksonville area, just a few months later.  I haven't been back.  So I had almost forgotten until I turned on the tv this morning.  I'm so sorry, Somer, that I forgot you.  


A foundation has been started.  somerthompsonfoundation.org  Please visit as they have some interesting information about introducing Somer's Law to increase child safety.  They've dedicated a park in Somer's honor, and her disappearance moved the band Molly Hatchet to write an entire album.


You can read the chronology of the story on the Florida Times Union website.  Thank you for remembering her.  

Weekend Mayhem.....

This weekend was Pack the House night in Bramlage Colliseum.  It's a yearly event where tickets for the women's basketball game are only $1.  There are also select $1 concessions.  Favorites like popcorn, pretzels, and some other items which I can't remember right now. 


Two of our girls were going to the game with friends; we were given 2 free tickets, hubs and I were free to get it, so I bought three tickets.  Then we spent $56 on concessions.  How ridiculous is that?  It's insane!  But it was also dinner.  I never did ask how much the bottled water was, but I do remember it was 3.50 for a hotdog, and 4.00 for a sausage.  So...expensive.  


We lost to Baylor.  It was brutal.  Sad.  Painful.  We lost to a team who has a player that is so tall she looks like a running tree.  Loping down the court, she sways a little like a tree in the wind.  With her arms in the air...it's even more accurate a description.  The worst part about having a girl that tall on the opposing team is she just batted anything down.  Everything.  Not a single shot got over that girls head.  Oh, it was a hard loss.  To a packed house.  


The highlight of the whole game was that the Zooperstars were there.  They are hysterical!!  If you ever have the chance to see them, JUMP!!  Here is a pic from the beginning of the game.  

On Sunday, we went hosted a youth group Super Bowl Party at our house.  It was insane.  Last year, the group had more young men in it.  There was an interest in the game as well as the commercials.  During halftime, we played Wii games. It wasn't bad at all!  We enjoyed having spent the time with them.   This year, was a vastly different story.  There were 17 kids and 4 extra adults in addition to our family of 8.  It was loud.  There was fighting over chairs.  We had to trick the kids into going outside at halftime to get room on the couch for the adults.  I found cupcakes in the bathroom.  There had apparently been kissing in my daughter's room.  There was a girl who wanted me to tell my daughter to give her seat back.  I actually hid in my room during the second half and folded laundry for a bit.  Just for a little quiet. 

Here is a picture of the Insanity that prevailed in my house on Sunday night.  Thankfully, working in the video department we were able to youtube all the commercials this morning. 

Pic to follow.  When we find the camera!

Double Shot Friday - WAHM Reviews!

I have a lot of friends who are work at home moms.  (WAHM)  I thought it would be fun to highlight them here!  I love working with them, and I love seeing the things they create.  They're all so talented!  I'll give a link and a little bit about them.  If you do decide to visit their sites, or purchase from them, remember to tell them where you heard about them!  


First, is my friend Liana.  She is one of the most amazing women I know.  Sometimes I swear she's a robot!  Liana is the owner and creator behind Baltic Creations, as well as the mother of four children ranging in age from 11 - 15 months.  Amber jewelry is a miracle, especially if you get it from Liana.  Amber is a widely used pain reliever in Europe.  I know it might sound crazy.  I didn't believe it at first, either.  When my youngest was a baby, I bought a children's amber necklace from Liana when she was just starting up.  He cut teeth we never even knew were coming!  He never screamed, he never cried.  I didn't go through tubes and tubes of Baby Ambesol or Orajel or any other unhealthy things.  His pain was relieved naturally.  And I'm proud of that!  To this day he wears not one, but TWO of Liana's necklaces....because he won't let us take them off!  As a matter of fact, my entire family had necklaces custom made by her.  Her custom work is undeniably some of the best jewelry I own.  You can see some of her other products by visiting her website.  Did I mention that Liana has always, always stood behind her products?  Definitely look her up if you're in the market for amber!  Lots of other people that sell 'amber' are really selling a form of plastic...don't get had, get Baltic Creations!  You can also find her on Facebook, where she can answer all your questions AND gives out discount codes if you're good!  Here are pics of the anklet she made for me and necklaces she made for my family!  Yup, she still had it two years later!

Second, is my friend Heather.  She is the owner and creator of Baby Snickerdoodles.  The sweetest, most ridiculously young looking person I know (we're talking 16 here, folks)!  She is the mother of four young children, ranging in age from 5 to her  8 month old bouncing baby!  Heather says her store grew out of her own personal crafts that were such hits with her friends that other people begged her to open a store!  I happen to be lucky enough to own one of her warm rice bundles, and it's ahhhh-mazing.  The *perfect* thing to help you relax after a  long day at work.  And green, which I love.  Heather also caters to the cloth diapering world with her crocheted longies, upcycled woolen pants, and skirties!  'Upcycled', for those not in the know, is using something already created (in this case usually a woolen sweater) to create something completely new....like baby pants!  Isn't that amazing?!  Recycling!  Or you can check out her reusable chalk mats or I Spy Bags, both of which are perfect for occupying children.  Think about how much more pleasant your next meal out will be with an I Spy Bag....uh, Heather?  I'm gonna need one of those!  Her many items are the most unique gifts you can give.  Head on over to her store and buy something awesome!  She gives out discount codes on her Facebook, so get over there! 


Another work at home mom that I deal with often is Heidi.  I actually heard about her store through her daughter, so Heidi's children are grown.  Heidi is the owner of Ear Candy.  I tend to visit her site often, and I have quite the collection of her earrings!  For a very long time, I only wore one pair of earrings; now that I'm back at work, I enjoy having a variety.  She is also kind enough to send me an email when she adds new earrings!  Enabler.  Her designs are so colorful, and unique.  I even see a pair I want tonight.  I've been wanting a pair of pink earrings, and what kind of KStater would I be if I didn't own a pair of purple earrings?  In addition to earrings, she makes bracelets and necklaces.  You have to check to her flu gallery.  Like I just did.  Now I need a necklace.  These are the perfect gifts when you're stumped!  They are absolutely gorgeous and your mom will love them!  You know I'm right!   Heidi is always a pleasure to work with, and her shipping is lightning fast.  You can't go wrong with prices this reasonable!  Be sure to tell her that Cathy sent you. 


Olivia is a knitting mom I know.  She has one little person who calls her Mama, and is the knitting wonder behind Greys Bumatomy.  A funny play on one of my favorite shows!  I sent Olivia the yarn to knit a pair of pants I was supposed to knit 6 months ago.  In fairness, I DID knit a pair but UPS lost them.  Sadly, I haven't had the time to finish another pair.  And that's where Olivia comes in.  After seeing photos of her work, and chatting with her nightly in a mothers group I'm in; I knew she was the one!  Anyone who has dealt with her, knows how wickedly fast she knits.  Her prices are also some of the more reasonable I've seen in the knitting world!  Scary, isn't it?  Olivia also dyes her own color ways!  Which is something I'm too scared to try.  We had a great time trying to name her yarn!  In her etsy store, you can find 'You Guys Made Me Ink', and I swear that even when I read that, in my mind it sounds just like in the movie Nemo.  Wonder what color way she'll come up with next?  Keep up with her and either grab some of her squishy yarn or knitting on Facebook or her etsy.  But get there fast, cause this WAHM has a waiting list for her knitting!  And I'm on it!  Woot.  Join her Facebook to see more examples of her custom work and to see how long the list is now! 


Got time for one more WAHM?  This one will be quick and relatively painless.  Promise.  It's ME!  I am a newly minted Scentsy consultant!  Don't know what that is?  It's an entire system for scenting your home in the most wonderful scents! I haven't come across one that I don't like yet!  Check out our full line of products here.  And you can message me if you have any questions or would like to set up a party!  I don't have a Facebook yet, but when I do, I'll be sure to let you know!  


Thanks for sticking around.  I really do hope you visit some of my friends stores.  They have some truly lovely products to offer.  But mostly, they are a GREAT bunch of women who are a big part of my life!  

Up and Coming....

Here is a link to my first voiceover!

Brown Memorial Camp Promo

I can't believe people get paid for this!  It takes about 3 minutes per job.  Honest.  I did this whole commercial in under 5 minutes, and that was with a whole bunch of mistakes!  When you're in the sound booth, looking out at the engineers and producers, you feel a little like a lion at the zoo.  There were some slight problems recording on their end, so I had a few minutes to pace back and forth.  Oh I had lots of jokes in there.  I love making people smile!


My husband says this doesn't sound like me.  I think that's code for I never sound 'peppy'.  He's such an great guy!


I love working with the producer, James Rico.  We really hit it off, and enjoy teasing each other.  He's a great guy, who has done tons of other incredible projects for KSU (and other people).  I want to learn everything he knows, so I better get crackin'!


Thanks Rico, for believing in me and giving me an opportunity to do something new and fun!  Love you!

Here is a link to some of Rico's other works.  You can contact him thru KSU if you're in the market for an amazing video.  Tell him I sent you!

Happy Anniversary, Baby

Last night DH and I went out to dinner to celebrate our anniversary.


Five years ago today, I met DH at the courthouse.  I had a friend with me, and a Calvin Klein dress on.  We paid whatever little fee we were supposed to pay, and got married.  That first year was rough.  Really rough.  I almost gave up.  I almost ran him over.  I threw divorce papers at him.


So on our first anniversary, we got married in our church.  With our church family from St. Peter's Episcopal Church in Florida around us, some friends from outside the church, and a few family members.


I wore a white dress, even though it wasn't my first wedding.  DH wore a tux.  My oldest daughter was my bridesmaid, and his dad was the best man.


We filled the church with candles and roses  Stood in that holy place, said our vows, and knew that we were starting over.  I remember Father Tony wrapping our hands, and telling us that we were forever part of each other.  From that day forward we have been.


DH still finishes my jokes.  He can complete my sentences.  I can tell him I've been thinking about something, and he takes the words right out of my mouth.  With him, my heart is at rest.  With him, I'm not searching anymore.  I never wonder what if.  I never wonder if there's someone else, something better.  I have exactly what I need right here.


I'm not saying it's perfect.  I'm not saying he never makes me want to kick him.  Or scream. Or cuss very loudly, because sometimes he does.  I am saying that I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I wouldn't want to not be able to share my life with him.  The other day, we were talking in class about what would happen if your significant other died, and just speaking of it made me tear up.  Just the what if of losing my DH, paralyzes me with fear.


On our third anniversary, we had each other's names tattooed under our wedding rings.

I will offer this to my readers:  The 'right' person means you're willing to break the rules.  You're willing to forgive the unforgivable.  You'll move heaven and earth to find a way to work through a 'deal breaker'.  I know, because we've done it.  The 'right' person is one that grows with you, not watches you grow away from them.  The 'right' person holds you tight, and isn't afraid to give you a reality check when you've got your head up your ass.  So thank you Honey, for being the right person.  I love you.  

Just Like That, I'm Published

And it's killing me.  Cause this is not the article that I turned in.  It's been edited to the point of nearly NOT being my story at all.  And that hurts.  I sat with the Edge editor yesterday, and we reviewed the story together.  Tweaked it a little, corrected some of my very common grammatical errors (WHY are quotes so hard?) Took out the part about Jesus from one of the contestants....

I have a byline.  Marred - in my humble opinion - by the fact that it says the article was completed as part of a class assignment.  Because that's not why I did it.  I did it because THIS is what I want to do.  I want to tell stories.  I want to tell the news.  I want to have people like you, reading at home, know the people that I met on Monday night.  People I go to school with, and still never see.  I didn't want to let the people I met Monday night down.  I *wanted* to tell their story. And I wanted you to care. 

So, here I am.  With my first ever, out there for the world to see and criticize, marred by that stupid sentence about it being a class assignment, edited till it barely resembles anything I wrote at all, published story.  My first byline.  And I'm crying in my darkened bedroom.  Damn it. 

Here is the link to the article in the Kansas State University Collegian newspaper. Happy reading. 


EDIT 12:00 pm 2/1/12- So, I got to work.  I grabbed a copy of the Collegian on the way to my desk.  I cried to a coworker that they hacked my story.  I set the story aside and went to work.  


I went back to the paper, and pulled up my original article on my computer. I highlighted the areas in the original that didn't make the paper.   And realized that there are really only 7 sentences that didn't make the paper.  


There are several other minor changes, and the story doesn't *sound* like me anymore.  The people that I was highlighting, are not the focus of the article, and I still take great umbrage at the sentence declaring the fact that my article is part of a class assignment.  Even DH agrees that it kinda throws me under the bus, implying 'if you think this article sucks, it's because she's a student.'


My point is that I might have judged the article a little harshly at 5:30 this morning.  I might have overreacted or maybe I'm PMSing.  But out of the entire article, only 7 sentences didn't make it.  And for the first one, that's not so bad. Is it?  

Cousin Andy's Sleep Over

I was in a meeting at work today when my husband called.


He said 'Cousin Andy's staying the night.'


Andy is my husband's cousin, who is 1 year older than DH.  He's a lot of fun, and we all love it when he's in town and comes to see us.  Sadly, tonight I was on location and DH had a night class, so Cousin Andy ended up babysitting!  Poor guy!


Here's a picture of Cousin Andy and DH.  Yes, we always call him 'Cousin Andy'.  It's kinda stuck.  I had just gotten home, so it was pretty late when this was taken.  That's why they look exhausted.

Thanks for stopping by, Cousin Andy!!  It's great to see you again!

One Very Bad Dog or Death of a Slipper

So how about a few pictures?  Please pardon the lack of white balance in the first photo, I'm running out the door to class.....


Here is a picture of One Very Bad Dog.  Notice the adorable face?  The super cute eyes?  The ears hanging low cause he isn't sure what the heck I needed him for and what exactly the camera is.  He's very lucky that he's so damn cute.

He caused the Death of a Slipper.  The Slipper Escapade slipper.  My husband brought the shoe to me with a rather detectable note of glee in his voice.  I hung my head in frustration.  Dear Husband (DH) pointed out yet again, that this was the 'very last pair of shoes THAT dog is going to eat'.  Notice we still have One Very Bad Dog.  We surely can't get rid of him, if we're keeping the teenagers. (see previous post)

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Teenagers Are Like Bad Roommates

Ok, so maybe YOUR teenager is not like a bad roommate.  La Ti Da.  Good on ya.


But I have two teenage girls in the house.  It's awesome.  Ok, that's bs.  It sucks much.


Teenagers are like beasts straight out the animal kingdom.


First off, they smell bad.  Really really bad.  My husband refers to this smell as BAF. He describes this as 'the smell of unwashed bodies'.  But teenagers are worse than that.  It's BAF mixed with a locker room and unwashed laundry.   Buy some air freshener.  Better yet, buy STOCK in air freshener.  You're gonna need it.


Second, they eat all your food.  Not like your other kids, who only eat 1 piece of pizza. Teenagers eat the  whole damn thing.  They eat the left over homemade mac and cheese you've been planning to eat for lunch at work tomorrow.   They eat all the cookies.  And the rest of the ice cream.  So you get a total of maybe 2 scoops out of an entire gallon.  It really isn't fair at all.  They just hoover it all up.  The worst part is, not only do they literally eat your lunch, but they put back empty containers.  Picture it:


You're snuggled up watching a movie with your hubs.


He says 'Hey! Let's have some ice cream!'  You pretend he's not brilliant.


You:  "Nah.  I'm on a diet, remember?  Besides, it's cold out."


Him:  "Well, I know we didn't eat it all the other night.  I'll even make it for you!" That's the clincher.  Now you don't even have to get up!


You:  "OK.  But just a small bowl.  I'm really trying to lose weight."  Uh huh.  Yup.  Sure.


So you pause the movie, and he putters into the kitchen.  You hear him open the freezer.  He starts digging around in there.  And then:


Him:  "Honey?  Did you eat the rest of the ice cream?" Did he just call you fat?


You:  "I was at work all week.  I've hardly had time to eat ice cream." Seriously...I think he just called you fat.


Him:  "Well, there's none left.  It's gone." WHAT?  Who ate the damn ice cream?


To which you both reply....."Damn teenagers."


Third, they make messes all over the place that they never clean.  And when you ask them to tidy up after themselves a little, they have some kind of seizure.  Their eyes roll back in their heads.  Their feet start stomping, they start muttering and flopping their hands around.  (Absolutely no offense to anyone who has real seizures.  I'm just attempting to describe the phenomenon as I've witnessed it.)  I've even seen my daughter develop a twitch.  In which she simultaneously sucks her teeth, tosses her head, heaves a deep sigh and rolls her eyes.  It can be frightening.  Sometimes I'm not sure if she's going to fall to the ground or if her head is going to start spinning around. I should probably talk to her doctor...


Fourth, they spend a LOT of time in their rooms doing heaven only knows what.  They could be plotting to take over the world.  They could be trying to find a cure to cancer.  I can't honestly tell you exactly what goes on in there.  All I know is that it smells bad.   I do know that my teenager knows when we're watching a movie.  She picks those times to start banging on her wall.  There aren't any holes on her side, so again, I have no idea what the hell is going on in there.  Our children don't have their own TVs, so I guess she's in there staring at walls and randomly checking to see if they're still solid?  I don't know.  Just a guess.


Fifth, they NEVER chip in for the bills, but ALWAYS need cash.  This is one of my pet peeves.  My teenagers wait until the very last second to tell me they need cash for something.  Cash is something I very rarely have on me.  Honestly.  I just don't carry cash.  So at 10 pm when my 14 year old pops her head into my room and tells me she needs 3 dollars for a school dance the next day, I have to tell her to go ask her Dad, or start checking the couch.  Last time she asked me for cash, she and her older sister were at the store.  She called to tell me that they were going to get 2 dollars cash back on my visa.  I had to inform her that it doesn't work that way and she couldn't do it.  It's funny, I get that; but it's annoying.


But the point here is that teenagers are like bad roommates.  Teenagers are Mother Nature's way of explaining how an animal could eat her young.


And I have two.  Faceplant.


You know - I read this to my daughters and husband.  We all had a good laugh.  I published it and walked away.  About a half hour later, I was looking for tweezers; and it dawned on me.....I left something out. 


If your teenagers are girls, there is another way they are like bad roommates.  THEY TAKE YOUR STUFF.  Nothing is sacred with a teenager in the house.  I've hunted down tweezers, jewelry, shoes, clothes, and makeup in my daughter's room.  I searched for a brand new pair of shoes for a week before I finally went to check her room.  Sure enough, there they were.  In her closet. She wears my flip flops every.single.summer.  It makes me crazy.  I don't remember ever doing these things to my mom.  


Speaking of my mom...I should probably call her and apologize again for everything I did from the age of 12 to the age of 18.  I did that the day my oldest daughter was born.  Apparently, I'll be doing it for a very.long.time.

What Happened?

I had this great post all typed out....


It was about how my husband never gets around to the things on his Honey Do List.  So in fairness to him, I listed the things on MY Honey Do List....and realized that he's actually way better than I am when it comes to getting around to stuff.


Then I touched something on my computer.  I have no clue what.  All I know is that it made my post disappear.  Which is ok with me, because after typing it all out and reading it over; I realized that I had managed to make myself look like a professional slacker!!


Maybe I'll write a post about Honey Do Lists later, when I've gotten around to finishing mine!

New Shoes

Who doesn't love a new pair of shoes?  I love new shoes!  I also happen to have one very bad dog who loves to eat my shoes, so I have to the joy of buying new shoes often.  (please don't tell my husband...he thinks the shoes just multiply in the back of the closet)  I got a new pair of black flats yesterday.  They're snakeskin and they look awesome!  They're Coach, which makes them my first ever pair of wickedly expensive shoes.  If the dog eats these, he's dead.  (My husband said he was dead when he ate the last pair.  They were black flats too, and I didn't like them as much; so I buried them very deep in the trash before he woke up.)

As with a lot of new shoes, they need to be broken in.  They aren't overly comfortable after wearing them for a few hours and doing a lot of walking.  There is one spot that just rubs my heel a little funny.  So when I met my husband for lunch, I asked if he would bring my slippers to work.  And he did.  And I wore them.  All afternoon.  It was pure foot bliss!  Truly!  I even danced through the lobby on my way to the copy machine for the girls at the front desk.  Mostly I did it so I could show off the fact that I was wearing slippers at work, but I also did it for their enjoyment.  Every office should have a middle aged woman dancing in the lobby on a Friday afternoon, don't you think?  

I'm sure that the only reason I was able to pull slippers off at all, is because on Friday I strictly adhere to a casual dress code.  Blue jeans and K-State T-shirts.  I was also assisted in the soon-to-be famous Slipper Escapade by the fact that my boss left the office shortly after I got back from lunch, and his second in command was on a location shoot all day...which just left two other coworkers, and myself.  Mary is sick, so I've been keeping my distance from her.  Sadly, she did not witness the Slipper Dance.  (her loss)  Dave is a recent K-State graduate and  oddly enough, his everyday attire includes a pair of shoes that greatly resemble the Slippers.  

I will continue to wear my new Coach flats in the hopes that they will become comfortable enough to not need slippers at work.  But until then, I think I may just have found my all time favorite pair of work shoes!  I mean Slippers. 


By the way, K-State T-shirts can be purchased from varneys.com if your'e not local.