I have tattoos. I have several. My first was a very small rose on my ankle. I figured it would never stretch, and I could explain it to my children. It is almost 20 years old. When I was about to turn 30, I got my second tattoo. I looked at it for a long time. For several months, I would go back to the tattoo parlor with a friend and I was always drawn to one flower in particular. It was my 'just because I'm turning 30, doesn't mean I have to settle down' tattoo. Several years after that I had a very messy divorce and got a butterfly....it symbolizes my freedom from oppression and abuse. After being remarried for several years, my husband and I had each other's names tattooed under our wedding rings. It's cute, hidden, and permanent.
My oldest daughter recently turned 18. She came home within 3 days of her birthday with a tattoo. Actually, her dad and I paid for it. She was given the option of a tv or a tattoo. She chose the tattoo. I tried to talk her out of it. I told her she couldn't watch the tattoo when she goes off to college this fall....still she insisted. So it was a gift from us. I'm not quite sure that it was the best move I've ever made, but it sure does make ME the cool mom!
Being in the tattoo studio - they're not called parlors, anymore - made my husband and I decide that it was time for us to get one, too. My husband has been kicking around the idea of getting a Navy tattoo, so he worked with the artist, and came up with a design. It is his birthday present this year. His appointment is in a few weeks, and the waiting is killing him.
I searched for a design that I liked enough to wear permanently. I wanted something meaningful, colorful, deep, intense, spiritual....and small. I didn't want stars or hearts or flowers, not chinese symbols I don't know actually represent the things I think. I wanted a nod to something bigger than me...and I found it.
Somewhere in my childhood, I heard that I had Cherokee ancestry. My mother swears I'm delusional, and she may be right; but I believe I heard it somewhere. So that is where my search started and ended.
I found this symbol for hummingbirds. It's simple and beautiful, but the meaning is what drew me to it and sealed the deal.
The Hummingbird. Paired or sometimes water birds or quail, symbolized in mated pairs as symbols of devotion, life cycles, permanence and eternity. Often modified in many simple forms. Hummingbirds are known to be very ferocious fighters and defenders of their territory. Many times stronger than their small size would suggest.
THIS. This is what I wanted to say. My devotion to my husband, a mated pair, permanence, eternity, soul mates. Fierce fighter and defender. Deceptively small, and stronger than you think. THIS is what I had to send out to the world. This is the brand I had to ink into my skin. THIS.
I cried when the artist laid the outline on my arm. I freaked him out a little, I think. I wasn't expecting to cry, but this tattoo is deeply meaningful for me. It represents my courage. My ferocious need to NOT let you defeat me anymore. A forever reminder to myself that I am not weak. And a symbol to the world of all the same things.
This is what I ended up with. A slightly modified version. But one that symbolizes myself, my husband, our union and eternity. My strength, and a representation of us as ferocious fighters who will defend our territory....regardless of our size. It is as much a literal symbol as a figurative one. I love it. I will wear it proudly, I will show it off, but I will still hide it from my mom behind my Wildcat watch. You know the story, but to others who think I just have a silly design...it's my secret reminder to myself to be strong and
beautiful. And FIERCE.
You can read more about Native American symbolism here. And for a great tattoo in Manhattan, Kansas visit Syndicate Tattoo. You can like them on Facebook here.
No comments:
Post a Comment